Isn't it frustrating how some guys seem to be able to flirt with girls like it was the easiest, most natural thing in the world whilst the very thought of flirting with women makes others go weak at the knees? Well, the truth is, although very few people will ever admit it, millions of guys around the world are actually uncomfortable with the thought of flirting with women or are simply unsure of what to do that WORKS so avoid flirting altogether. What's worse, because they have never learned how to flirt effectively with women, they end up making a complete fool of themselves through bungled, ineffective efforts and get even more fearful of the process, consequently putting them off trying …
Many Men are afraid of not knowing how to approach, what to say, or even how to flirt with women in a way that gets results and seems natural and un-forced. If any of those points sounds at all like you, then – great!
You've come to the right place. Now, for the good news … Like anything in life: flirting with Women CAN be learned.
Remember Its Nothing Personal
Before we can begin to delve into effective flirting techniques and the like, the first thing you need to realize is that fear of rejection is in fact the number one fear amongst men and many men even feel it when a woman flirts with them first. Sadly, this fear is also what's holding most men back from getting the chance to snag the perfect woman. What you need to understand is that flirting doesn't have to be difficult. In fact, all of us are born with the skill for flirting with women but many have no idea how to tap into it, have never been taught and consequently have no idea how to hone these skills. Here are some of the best foundational flirting strategies that you can use to attract women.
How To Know What Women Want
In order to be a hit with the ladies you need to understand that Women rarely mean what they say in relation to a mans attractiveness. For example, if you were to ask a woman what they are looking for in a man most would answer 'Someone, romantic, reliable, dependable and trustworthy.' Truth is, as far as attractiveness goes Women actually want spontaneity, confidence, excitement, unpredictability and protection. It is these traits that you must learn to hone and exhibit when flirting. Women may also tease you and challenge you verbally. This is not a sign that they dont like you – in fact, it is completely the opposite. It is their way of a 'screening process' and you will be rewarded by keeping calm, keeping cool and keeping confident. Also, Women love to be challenged. Think about it. If you are a hot woman you literally have men trying to chat you up on a daily (if not hourly) basis. By playing things cool and not acting needy, attractive Women are far more intrigued and actually WANT to get to know why you aren't throwing yourself at them, as well as positively responding to their verbal challenges without becoming defensive. This is a broad and complex subject to tackle within the confines of an article, but you even being aware of this natural (yet commonly unexplained) process already puts you at a distinct advantage over 99% of other less well informed Men.
Attraction Is Not A Choice
Here is some more great news for any Man who is scared of flirting with women because they feel they aren't 'attractive enough' to approach so and so girl. Well, unlike men, it is the personality and characteristics of a man that are the number one features that make them attractive in the eyes of a Woman. Sure – if you look like Brad Pitt it certainly won't harm your chances but keep in mind that it is a mans personality that triggers signs of attraction in a Women whereas with men it is always physical attraction first, personality second. We are wired differently and react accordingly – remember that!
Confidence Is Key
Very often this is most men's stumbling block when it comes to successfully flirting with women. At the same time, this is the number one reason why you will be successful. It is also the reason why 'Bad Boys' tend to get more girls. Their confidence (or even arrogance) is an extreme turn on for Women. This coupled with their unpredictability makes them fascinating to Women. Confidence is often perceived as something that you either have or don't have. That is a load of nonsense. Listen, all confidence really comes down to though is how comfortable you feel doing something. Lets take Driving for an example. How confident were you when you first got in that Car and started to drive? Not very, ill bet. However, as time went by you learned how to drive and over time your confidence soared – right? After a year or two of driving I bet it's now so easy for you, you don't even think twice about it. The two interesting points about this are firstly, you WERE rubbish at it, until you repeatedly practiced it and secondly, confidence increases exponentially with repeated practice. If you are a naturally shy individual, chances are good that you will automatically keep your distance from a gorgeous woman you might meet at a party. Well, DON'T. The next time you see a woman you're attracted to, plant your feet on the ground, take a few deep breaths and then grab the first opportunity to approach her. It may help to tell yourself repeatedly that flirting with women is fun and it will NOT get you arrested. Plus, you can't get better at it unless you practice. So practice makes perfect my good fellow. Get busy and start approaching!
Be Funny – Seriously
Women find humor very, very attractive. For this reason, a woman is more likely to accept a little flirting if you keep the tone slightly humorous. After all, flirting with women is supposed to be a fun activity. If it's not fun then there's no point in doing it, right? Teasing and cracking subtle jokes are the best ways to keep things interesting. If you start out being very serious, a woman will most likely tune you out. So, loosen up and laugh a bit. The absolute best flirting technique is actually to create a little verbal sparring with the Woman. this way, it shows you are confident, not needy, challenging and is a great way of building sexual tension.
Learn About and Employ 'Alpha' Body Language
Flirting with women involves not only knowing what body language to use, but also how to interpret a woman's body language. For example, if the woman you're eyeing pushes her fingers slowly through her hair while you're talking, then she is definitely interested. But, if she runs her fingers through her hair quickly or in jerking movements, then it would be best for you to change your strategy or even make your exit as you may be wasting your time there. By exhibiting strong, confident body language you can raise your attractiveness in a women's perception of you a thousand fold. Non-verbal communication is actually more important to Women than to Men. You owe it yourself to learn this.
Stand Out From The Crowd
Naturally, your appearance does count in flirting with women. This is not to say that only handsome men have a fighting chance in the flirting game. Rather, it just means that you have to know how to bring out the best in yourself, physically and most importantly to subtlety distinguish yourself from the crowd. There are many techniques you can use to turn even the most nondescript person into somebody that will have women dying to find out more about you. The process of 'Peacocking' means having a funky or cool style of dress that differentiates you from the crowd and acts as a fantastic conversation starter.
These tips are just the tip of the iceberg. If you are serious about improving your success with Women then you owe it to yourself to educate yourself about this important and fascinating subject.
By Javier Goodridge
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