Romantic relationships often end due to miscommunication between the man and woman. It’s not that either party didn’t have good intentions. The problem is that they didn’t adjust their communication enough, to make it more effective. But having a better understanding about how men and women communicate will help to improve your romantic relationship.
Due to socialization, male and female humans interact differently with each other. Competition is more important among males, while cooperation is more important among females. Boys on playgrounds often enjoy competitive activities such King of the Mountain or Tug-of-War. Meanwhile, socialization of girls is often based on who their best friends are, and how many “secrets” they’ve collected. In a sense, males’ relationships with each other are “vertical,” while those among females are “horizontal.”
This phenomenon even impacts how men and women communicate with each other. Studies show that as males age, their face-to-face communication eventually resembles two people sitting in the driver’s and passenger’s seats, in the front seats of a vehicle. Meanwhile, girls often sit or stand in a circle when communicating, which allows them to form a bond with each other. Women tend to prefer this face-to-face communication.
We’re all-too-familiar with the iconic scene of a husband who’s just returned from work, and buries himself in the daily newspaper. His wife wants to talk to him about his day, but he’d rather enjoy the escapism that the newspaper provides. In this scenario, neither the man nor the woman is “right” or “wrong.” Instead, they’re exhibiting the common communication style of men and women, in a particular situation.
That brings us to the function of communication, for men and women. When men communicate, they tend to focus on the transfer of data. This includes facts, figures, and other objective information. On the other hand, a woman tends to use communication as a means of enhancing her relationship with the person she’s communicating with. Some experts have described this phenomenon as the “report vs. rapport” communication styles of men and women, respectively.
This is particularly evident in the body language of women, when communicating with someone. They tend to lean forward when having a chat with a person, to indicate that they’re listening intently. Also, a woman tends to provide feedback while the other person is talking, to indicate that she’s listening to the speaker. She’ll often use words such as “yes,” “right,” and so on. While men also use these mannerisms when having a conversation, it’s less common. Men tend to focus on exchanging objective data, such as sports scores, instructions for performing a task, and so on.
So how can this information improve your communication with your sweetheart or spouse? By understanding how the opposite gender tends to communicate, and by using some of those methods yourself–you can prevent miscommunication and strengthen the relationship with your special someone.
What seems to be a major argument between sweethearts and spouses is often the result of miscommunication. But by learning how to communicate more effectively with the opposite gender, you can prevent such situations that could even be fatal to the relationship!
By Graeme Renwall
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