Certainly this has happened to you. You approach a woman that really interests you from across a room and the moment you use your best line or introduce yourself, she politely smiles and walks away with all her friends. What just happened? Well, she saw you coming and already had her defenses up even before you got near her. Why does this happen and how do you break through her defenses so that you can get a date?
Women are very sensitive people. Every body has dating scars and there are a lot of people who can be classified as the walking wounded looking to be rescued. This is a major turn off for a lot of women, especially the one you want to attract. It has been said by many experts on dating that it only takes a woman a few seconds to sense her environment and put up her defenses to protect herself from the elements. Guys, we are the element that women are constantly wanting to be with and avoid at the same time.
No one wants to get hurt. It could be that the girl of your desire is suffering from a lot of bad dates and men only looking for one thing hitting on her. Your greatest challenge to break her defenses is her past experiences. There is good news though. You can break through these defenses by not provoking this automatic reaction in the first place. The best way to do this is going to give you a new way of looking at things and the way women react to your advances.
You have to create an environment that makes her feel safe and gives her time to get to know you and what you are all about. Before she even goes out to a club or bar, she already has that invisible wall up just in case some annoying guy approaches her. This information that you are about to get is going to be really easy for some guys and a little more difficult for others.
The key is to be relaxed and stop looking for her approval. Guys looking for approval will be more forward and aggressive when approaching women. In this modern day, women are going to be extra careful when meeting strange men for fear of violence, stalking, and any terrible things you have heard in the news. But to get past her defenses, you can relieve her of her fears by just being yourself with no apparent agenda, and doing what you do because you want to do it. For some reason this absolutely works. So in talking to girls, you can act like you do not really care what she thinks of you and that you have the confidence of knowing whom you are and what you are about. The minute you try to impress a woman to get her approval you will quickly join the ranks of the walking wounded in love and dating.
It does not mean you do not approach women or talk to girls you want to meet but it does mean that you give her the opportunity to be comfortable enough to respond to your efforts in talking with her.
By Kevin C. Walters
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